Drawing Part 3

Here are the pages of some of the drawings I have been doing slowly over the past few weeks. To be honest with you I didn't do as much of this as I really wanted to, but every time I tried to sit down and draw something I would begin to hate it and ultimately stop because I couldnt put what I saw in my head down onto the page.


After doing a bit of searching around for how I felt I stumbled upon the Van Gogh fallacy. The fallacy includes an example where it says "Van Gogh was misunderstood and living in poverty, but later he was recognized as one of the world's greatest artists. I am misunderstood and living in poverty, therefore I will be recognized as one of the greatest artists". This acts as a type of wishful thinking and makes the person think that there is a connection that just does not exist, I think I am doing this in part to myself when it comes to my drawing. I am hopeful it will look a certain way and then when I draw it I feel bad because it does not look this way.





I came to the end of this all and felt like a fraud, I had been looking at all this theory and trying to make myself better. But still, within me, I feel like a fraud, that I shouldn't be here, that what I was making was not good, would never be good. So much so that I said how I felt to my Girlfriend, I told her how I felt like a bit of fraud and that nothing I was doing was working. She said to me that "I would never be able to find my "style" overnight, it's a long process" and this made me realize that all I was doing with looking at my methodologies, trying to improve my drawing skills, and everything else I did for this project was wrong in a way. I went into this project with an aim of trying to become better, but I think instead of this I have realized that this question isn't about trying to change myself to become a better practitioner but to accept myself as a practitioner. I still want to create this "rule" book for myself but have it more as something that tells me what I do is correct and works for me.

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